


everybody make a scene

by impulserun



Series: we'll be fine [11]
Category: Avengers Academy (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-20 02:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8232539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impulserun/pseuds/impulserun
Summary: In which Halloween arrives, and Steve suffers.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [人人都在出洋相](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8877646) by [hamLock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamLock/pseuds/hamLock)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diverges a little from the AVAC canon. B/c reasons, that's why.
> 
> ~~Poor Steve. He just can't catch a break. You should've stuck with the baseball player costume.~~

“Is this your idea of a cute couple costume?” Tony asks, snickering. “Peter, get a good shot of them – this is going on the Academy PicShare.”

Bucky scowls, tugging at the cowl of his cape. His fake fangs sit uncomfortably in his mouth. He should have opted for a different costume, like a baseballer or a cyborg or something – something that didn’t involve sticking large, uncomfortable plastic teeth in his goddamn mouth.

Beside him, Steve laughs sheepishly, pushing back the hood – designed to look like a wolf’s head – of his jacket.

The shutter of Peter’s camera goes off. Bucky glares in his direction.

“Really, Cap?” Tony says again. “A vampire and a werewolf?”

“It was this or gladiators,” Steve points out. “And believe me, the costumes did not leave anything to the imagination –”

“ _Damn_ ,” breathes Tony, eyes misting over. “You should’ve gone with the gladiators.”

Bucky growls.

“Okay, okay – no gladiators – no gratuitous skin-showing – Cap, _help, call him off –_ ”

*

“WHAT THE FUCK, STEVE.”

Steve whines. His wolfy, non-human, non-Steve ears go flat against his head.

“HOW DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO YOU,” shouts Sam, dressed as a penguin. “I LEFT YOU ALONE FOR A DAY, TO GET MY COSTUME TOGETHER. _A DAY._ ONE GODDAMN DAY, AND YOU TURN INTO A WEREWOLF?”

“I’m not entirely sure it counts,” Sharon muses. “It’s the middle of the day right now, and the full moon isn’t for weeks. If Steve was a traditional werewolf, shouldn’t he be human right now? What mythos are we following here?”

“Probably not the Harry Potter one,” says Tony sagely. “He understands what we’re saying and everything. Ooh, maybe he’s a Twilight werewolf – he has the abs for it, anyhow. Hey, Steve, is Bucky the Bella to your Jacob, or what?”

Steve levels him with a wolfy glare.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS BUCKY,” Sam shouts again. “HE’S SUPPOSED TO STOP THIS SHIT FROM HAPPENING.”

*

Bucky, as it turns out, is hiding. From a creepy, albino man with a ponytail, who insists on creepily loitering outside Avengers Hall with vague insinuations about undead-dom and ‘restoring his country’.

Loki and Misty take it in turns to reinforce the wards around campus, and provide Bucky (and various other students, each of whom are increasingly creeped out by the fire-ghosts following them around) with the magical equivalent of restraining orders.

In a fit of pique, Sam kicks over a dustbin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gladiator costumes are a reference to the [Planet Hulk comic](http://readcomiconline.to/Comic/Planet-Hulk) in the Secret War run. Steve's outfit there isn't _quite_ as revealing as what Tony is probably picturing, but just look at Bucky's. I mean, come on. That offers you zero protection of your squishy bits. 
> 
> Bucky's vampire costume is a reference to [darth_stitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch)'s Count Buckula fics. I just. I love them. _So much. **I can't help it.**_


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh no,” says Natasha, suddenly.

“What?”

She points at the roof of SHIELD’s headquarters. The roof of the building has inexplicably sprouted a wooden plank – one which currently features one Janet Van Dyne and one James Buchanan Barnes enthusiastically sparring with two pirate cutlasses.

“Oh _no_ ,” agrees Sam.

“You go distract Steve,” Natasha suggests, pulling out her grappling hook, “and I’ll go get the idiots down from the roof.”

“What?” says Sam, blinking. Then he recoils. “Nah, man. _You_ go distract Steve. _I_ can fly.”

*

“So,” says Sam, ushering his charges back towards safe ground. “You wanna tell me what this is about?”

Considering the minor meltdown he’d had a week ago over Steve inexplicably turning furry, he thinks he deserves a pat on the back for being so calm. Maybe he actually _should_ look into a psychology degree, or something in social work. It might make a decent fall back option from superheroics.

“I expected this from Jan,” he continues, “but from you, Barnes? After all the shit you give Steve for being reckless on missions?”

“Jan would’ve caught me if I fell,” says Bucky, recalcitrant.

Sam finds himself reconsidering every plan he has ever had about having children.

“Just,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “just, why?”

“Steve still can’t talk,” Bucky points out. “He’s like 85% of my impulse control.”

“ _Bucky_!” Steve howls in the distance, having finally figured out how to speak through a wolf snout that afternoon.

Bucky’s face falls. “Aw, fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [For reference.](https://www.reddit.com/r/avengersacademygame/comments/57vkbp/bucky_grab_my_hand/)
> 
> The 85% impulse control is [a hideously old meme](http://totallyfubar.tumblr.com/post/94122058401/nightstargalaxy-totallyfubar-my-girlfriend), but something I thought was relevant.


End file.
